Harry Potter and the JKR: Just Kidding Really
by madsloth
Summary: Post DH… or is it, Harry wakes up from a very bad dream he had after being knocked out during a vigorous training session. :Think of Dorothy in Wizard of Oz: Harry/Susan/Hanna Implied but no pairing. Pre-Hogwarts Harry is around 8 or 9 years old One-Shot
1. Chapter 1

Harry Potter and the JKR (just kidding really)  
Post DH… or is it, Harry wakes up from a very bad dream he had after being knocked out during a vigorous training session. (Think of Dorothy in Wizard of Oz) Harry/Susan/Hanna Implied but no pairing. 

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. Or anything that follows, the first 144 words are direct quotes taken from J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter and the Deadly Hollows Epilogue page 759 published by Scholastic and later sadly made in to a movie.

A special thanks to Selonianth who helped me put the final touches on this one-shot. I am not in any way shape or form a competent author so this is my first and more than likely last attempt to post anything. I hope someone gets some enjoyment out of it.

HPDH-HPDH-HPDH- HPDH-HPDH-HPDH-

"Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students.

Don't let it worry you," said Ron. "It's me I'm extremely famous."

Albus, Rose, Hugo, and Lily laughed. The train began to move, and Harry walked alongside it, watching his son's thin face, already ablaze with excitement. Harry keep smiling and waving, even though it was like a little bereavement, watching his son glide away from him…

The last trace of steam evaporated in the autumn air. The train round a corner. Harry's hand was still raised in farewell.

"He'll be all right," murmured Ginny.

As Harry looked at her, he lowered his hand absentmindedly and touched the lighting scar on his forehead.

"I know he will."

The scar had not pained Harry for nineteen years. All was… "HARRY… HARRY WAKE UP, WAKE UP HARRY!."

HPDH-HPDH-HPDH- HPDH-HPDH-HPDH-

"I better let Sirius know what happened he is almost as bad as Poppy, Expecto Patronum!"

Harry slowly almost reluctantly opened up his eyes and the dream slowly started to fade away in to the back of his mind needless to say he was utterly confused let Sirius know? Dumbledore? What was going on. "Pr-Professor Dumbledore?"

"That is one name I have been known to go by from time to time though normally you call me Grandpa, Harry are you ok? You hit your head rather hard, I think we need to get you to Madam Pomfrey or she will have my hide… again." Sighed Dumbledore

"Bu-But you died sir"

"Dear me I hope it was not to painful an end."

"No sir not really, Professor Snape killed you on the astronomy tower with the killing curse."

"_Professor_ Snape huh? That is the first time I have ever heard anyone call that unfortunate soul a professor… he is in Azkaban for being a Death Eater. You remember you where at his parole hearing because of the role he played in the death of your parents? I have no idea how he got a parole hearing so soon actually… sadly he still has no remorse for anyone's murder but your mother's. To be quite honest my dear boy, I am disturbed by your subconscious' apparent lack of faith in my ability to staff my school with proper professors" joked Dumbledore.

"That's not all sir, you… you sent me to the Dursleys, and in the end sent me to face Voldemort without any training so I would let him kill me… but I became the master of the Elder wand, and lived and married Ginny." recalled Harry from his position on the floor.

"That is a lot to have dreamed about Harry being as how you where only unconscious for about 10 minutes… but let me put the matter to rest, I took you to see the your mom's sister once when you turned 6 they refused to let us 'freaks' in their normal house so we left. I hardly think I am not training you after all how did you hit your head? We have been at it for almost an hour today alone. "The Elder wand?" He chuckled "That is just a myth, a fairy tale, as you well know there is no easy way to win Harry, only through training and dedication can we hope to defeat Voldemort. Super wands and unending luck would be nice but alas it is not that easy. And who is this Ginny? Do your little girlfriends Susan and Hannah have competition?"

"That's right of course you have been teaching me about magic since my fifth birthday, and Ginny was the last Weasley after Ron and for the last time Hanna and Susan are just friends..." Harry stated firmly as he blushed deeply.

"Well that is an interesting tale you have my boy… but let me assure you there is no Ginny Weasley Molly had all boys young Ronald was the last before Arthur found out about that Muggle procedure Vasectomany or some such and sadly Ronald was lost in that Floo accident two years ago, now off to the hospit..."

"But I also named one of my kids after…" started Harry before he was interrupted by his adoptive grandfather.

"One of.. Kids… Oh dear, Harry it was all a very, very bad dream that's all now let's get you to Madam Pomfrey, come now on the double" firmly stated Dumbledore as he bent over to help Harry stand but then thought better of the situation when Harry almost fell.

"On second thought maybe I should levitate you. Locomotor Harry"

The End

AN

This is simply one explanation for all the plot holes and inconsistencies in the stories, an 8 year old boys mind could not fill in all the blanks in his imagined life as his adoptive grandfather's slave.

Snape's parole hearing - the reason for that was I needed an explanation for why Harry knew him and simply put I did not want to give the man credit for evading capture that long.

Ginny and Ron – I don't know if the world would be a better place without them but it could hardly be worse, without the two children his age he would be unlikely to spend much time around Molly and that's a good thing.

Obviously Sirius and Albus are big parts of his life but I would imagine the Tonks', Longbottoms, Bones, Abbotts and more than likely much of the Hogwarts staff are as well. And with him making normal appearances at Hogwarts the population would hopefully be desensitized to his presence.

Hermione – Does she exist? No clue, I find it unlikely in this scenario she could be anything more than a figment of his imagination like Ginny unless Sirius has him in non-magical school where they could possibly meet. He knows muggleborns exist so naturally his mind would create some.

Anyhow hope you enjoyed it.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: this is more of an Omake or an excuse just so I could have 10-10-10 11-11-11 which I thought was kind of cool, From one vet to all the others Happy Veterans day.

Dumbledore smiled at Harry "you have completed your training you are now the most powerful wizard alive at the age of 10 congratulations your parents would be so proud!"

"Your Parents would be proud of you regardless of how powerful or skilled you are Harry." Sirius added.

Harry simply nodded "Right lets go kill Voldemort there's no time like the present."

Harry thought about the last few years, he has surpassed Dumbledore in defense, dueling, transfiguration Perfected his metamorphic abilities and finally managed to master the last of his 11 animagus forms. he discovered he could control all elements and even was a shadow mage and it goes without saying he was a master of wandless magic….

10-10-10 11-11-11 10-10-10 11-11-11 10-10-10 11-11-11

"HARRY… HARRY WAKE UP, WAKE UP HARRY!."

Slowly the world started to dissolved along with his god like powers only to be replaced with another Harry shook his head trying to clear the fog only to wish he hadn't "Ouch!" Sirius thought he heard Harry mumble 'not again'.

as Harry tried to figure out which Albus was the real one Sirius started talking. "I told you he needed a break Dumbledore."

"I know and you were right let's get him to Poppy so she can check him for a concussion, thank Merlin this is only the second time this happened or Min and Poppy would skin my hide." Dumbledore cringed they can be quite… over protective of young Harry.


End file.
